FROM THE BOOK "DREAMS LOST IN TIME" - CHAPTER I
Rudolfo was the private driver and bodyguard of the German Consul, and his wife Dolores was the governess of the huge property that belonged to the Consul. Life made it possible for Rudolfo that he served this German diplomat and through the close relationship between them, he consolidated his employment and family situation to a point where his son Ricardo, Miguel's father, became the politician's godson. Later on, this situation of stability would be completely altered by the disappearance of this diplomat.
It was in this context of memories coming from dreams and from that photo album that Miguel concentrated his thoughts. This reaction led him to transport himself mentally to the times in which Rudolfo told him stories, little episodes of his childhood as a teenager and adult. This dialogue that existed between grandfather and grandson contributed to the formation and enrichment of Miguel's education since the content of these conversations was incredibly evolved in cultural and creative terms.
Rudolfo was an autodidact who expressed all his thoughts in an extremely wealthy way regarding expression as he applied a touch of poetry to his words without being a poet. This form of speaking made Miguel think that there are writers who don't notice that they are poets and in fact, the lyrical content of a text can contain more poetry than a simple poem written by an assumed poet.
Miguel still remembered when he used to read some letters in a loud voice and addressed to friends and family. For Miguel, it was like hearing a new story when in reality it was simply his way of expressing himself, without artifice or pretensions but merely his natural form to analyze daily events and behaviours. It was due to those moments that Miguel was able to capture the essence, the soul of the act of writing, everything that can motivate a person to express his ideas in an extremely constructive and beautiful manner.
What impressed Miguel the most was the contrast between the apparent coldness of his grandfather and the beauty manifested in the content of his words. To whom Rudolfo's past was not knowledgeable it would be impossible to identify this contradiction, but this attitude of his was entirely understood by Miguel because he was his small confidant. This behaviour contributed to Miguel's understanding about his messages, those that would usually be addressed and interpreted by adults, which led Miguel to evolve in a premature way in his thoughts and moments of introspection while a child and later as a teenager.
Miguel clearly remembered the rides that he used to take in the company of his grandfather. Two or three days a week after the day's work, Rudolfo invited his grandson to a walk in the middle of the eucalyptuses and told him about several episodes of his past.
“You know my dear Miguel, when I was a little older than you, I experienced moments of great suffering and deprivation. Those were tough times where most of the population could not afford to have a decent and comfortable life. We all had to improvise to have some moments of joy and happiness” - Rudolfo said to his grandson.
“Is it true grandfather? And what did you do if you had no toys?” exclaimed little Miguel.
“We had to use our imagination to make and play kid's games. We played with stones of various sizes for example, which we painted in different colours and each one of us had to throw his stone as far as possible. The next player had to break our stone with his own and at the end of the game the winner was the one that managed to keep his rock in good shape.” - Rudolfo laughed while describing this to Miguel.
Rudolfo had been born in the late 1880's, a time in history when only the monarchics possessed the necessary means to live a dignified life. Most of the people had to work the fields or execute trades that were paid minimally or were subject to exchange of goods or services. In addition to this socio-economic status, Rudolfo did not have much luck with his parents. His mother had died when he was a few years old, and he stayed in charge of his father who had a precarious education combined with a character of physical and verbal aggression, mostly physical violence. It was in this context that Rudolfo had been physically and emotionally abused in the most crucial years of his education as a child.
“Grandfather was not raised like you, with all these luxuries that surround you. The affection that I, your second mother Alexandra and your parents give you, are a small fortune that many children wish they had but unfortunately is not the case. You are lucky, and I'm very happy about it.” - Rudolfo explained.
In fact, even nowadays Miguel still repeated many sentences of his grandfather which he had kept in his memory. One of them was "in life; we have to be lucky". We can be the most intelligent and the most honest workers, yet without luck we do nothing.
“It is crucial to have luck with our parents, with the rest of our family, brothers, and sisters. Later, we have to get lucky with those we choose as our friends and then those with whom we'll make a family. Without luck, we do nothing, my little man!” - said Rudolfo while hugging his grandson.
Miguel always looked at his grandfather with the greatest attention because he expressed himself in such a way that sounded like a fairytale, even taking into account the challenging and painful contexts surrounding the events he used to describe. Also, Miguel felt in Rudolfo's eyes the admiration and love he had for him while narrating all those stories. It was as if by telling all those events he would avoid that it would happen the same to his grandson.
“When I was fourteen years old, my father woke me up in one of those winter mornings when it rained cats and dogs, and there was a damp cold brought by the early morning fog. I still remember his expression and verbal aggression when he woke me up, ordering me to get dressed as quickly as possible because we were late to take the train. I didn't even know we had a train to catch, and I was very surprised, which led me to pose him the question about our destination. This issue was answered immediately by a big slap in the face!” - Rudolfo narrated to his grandson.
Anyone had never mistreated Miguel but several times he had watched some episodes between parents and children where these last ones were punished with mistreatment. The property of the German Consul was populated by staff who assured the maintenance of the domain, and some of them lived over there with their families as so vast it was.
“Well, my little man. My father was not like yours, loving and affectionate although distant in his thoughts. Unlike yours, my dad did not think because he probably had anything on his head except violence and destruction. Some people become parents by accident and then they simply ignore how to treat their children in a proper way, mostly with love. They probably were also created and equally treated without tenderness and affection and with a total lack of feelings, not knowing how to act differently, though.” - Rudolfo continued.
“And after all, where did your father take you, grandfather?” - Miguel asked.
“What happened was a very cruel thing that I would not wish to anyone, not even my worst enemy if I have any. My father dragged me by the arm to the railway station and went to the counter to buy the tickets. It was at that moment that I heard about our final destination, the city of Lisboa which surprised me even more.” - Rudolfo replied.
Rudolfo was born and always lived in Leiria, a city that is located in the middle north of Portugal. For him, the journey to Lisbon represented an extraordinary event, especially considering it was the capital of the country. What he ignored was the reason that led his father to bring him so far from his birthplace and home.
“Some things happen to us that mark us for life, Miguel. In most cases, these are events that bring us suffering which we will never be able to put behind our backs and just forget about them. Good times, those yes, they pass quickly and are also easily forgotten.” - Rudolfo continued.
Miguel was completely puzzled about what had happened to his grandfather and far from imagining what had taken place.
“For me, this trip was exciting because I had never left my small native city before. When we arrived in Lisbon, my father took me to streets that seemed endless in my eyes. We walked enough time to the point where I got tired and during the way; I thought several times about the reason that had brought me to the big capital. It was then that we came across a great river, the Tejo, (Tagus). To me, it seemed the sea and not a river. In Leiria existed the Lis river, but compared to this one it was just a small drop of water in the ocean.” - Rudolfo spoke, and Miguel felt that he was reliving these events. It was like reading or listening to a novel narrated to a child and that we will never forget.
“We continued our walk along the river towards Belém and at one point we took direction north of the city, away from the Tagus river. Shortly after that, we arrived at a street where the buildings were old and lugubrious. Halfway down the street, we entered this stairwell, and my father put a suitcase that he held all the way at my feet. It was at that moment that I realized that I would get dropped and forgotten over there by my father, and it was what happened” - said Rudolfo with a look that indicated a very deep inner rebellion and anger.
To Miguel, this situation was not conceivable but hearing it from the mouth of his grandfather and looking into his eyes, the way he expressed himself, quickly led him to the conclusion that this wasn't a children's story but the narration of real facts that caused enormous suffering to his grandfather. It was at that moment when Miguel hugged him and began to cry.
After some seconds, adult and child were hugging and kissing with tears in their eyes.